To this day, people still ask me, "Why aren't you dating? I have perfected the art of being alone, but not being lonely.
" or "You should find a man" or my favorite, "You know what you need? I feel as though this is one of the weird little parting gifts of divorce, one that took me a long time to discover and even longer to appreciate. Don't get me wrong: I don't spend all of my free time alone.
:)My perfect evening used to be a nice dinner and walk.
I've been divorced for over six years now, and I'm not in a relationship. There have been a few beaus, a couple more serious than the others, some purely physical. Everything I read about divorce seems to have a message: if you are divorced, you need to date. Fresh divorcees fret about it, as though there is a deadline for finding new love, a relationship version of the old biological clock that is ticking ominously in the background.
But right now, and for the past several months, I've been absolutely, completely, 100% unattached. That their lives will not be complete until they have someone on the other side of the bed every single night.
You’re done with the bar scene and you’re very much interested in settling down to have a family of your own. Well, if you’re born in 1971, you’re part of Generation X. Your friends are buying their first houses and having their first kids. Maybe he’ll still be vigorous enough to keep up with your active lifestyle. Next, since you can’t convince someone to date an older man, stop trying.
And then you, the 36-year-old woman, post your profile, and what happens? It doesn’t stop older men from writing, but at least you don’t have to explain yourself to a man who doesn’t want to hear your perfectly valid explanation. But you must understand that any woman you desire online has choices. She can go out with a cute, successful man who is 35. To find out who IS interested, try Match.com’s Reverse Match.
And of course, technically speaking I am not living alone right now, what with my four roommates -- five if you count the sweet shedding boy who shares my bed.
But for the first time in my adult life, I'm single and not looking. My ex husband did a major number on me when he left.I'm not naive enough to think that there wasn't some damage done, but I am smart enough to know that it wasn't permanent.Me not actively seeking love right now isn't a matter of not wanting to be vulnerable again, nor is it a matter of not trusting men (or my choices in men). If you find yourself failing at marriage once, it's hard to think of trying it again.Men with no friends or existing social life get ignored and rejected by women (especially online) Being a loner and single as a man often means attractive or average women do not show any interest in you.Guys send messages out on online dating websites, but get little or no replies.You’re a successful older man who wants to date a woman significantly younger than him. Needless to say, this goes for ALL people who are dating online. We want what WE want, even if what we want is unrealistic.