It was at her boss's wedding that Sophie Holland decided, with stone-cold certainty, that she wanted to be next down the aisle. Simon, one of her closest friends for the previous three years. We'd stayed overnight at his parents' house, and I woke up and thought, "I am going to ask him to marry me."' Until then Sophie, 40, had worked alongside Simon, 44, in a fabric shop in Soho, London.She'd found this affable, gentle man appealing as a shoulder to cry on when her succession of thrilling but chaotic relationships dissolved.He'd even sit with her in the pub and have a couple of warm-up drinks while she waited for a new date to arrive. 'On that day of the wedding, when everyone around me was saying how lovely he was, I suddenly thought they were right.
After all, isn’t that why we date – to connect like dots and legos? It starts off with that highly anticipated telephone conversation you’ve both been eagerly awaiting since you first met.
But through it all, there is no denying the thrilling allure of being in the presence of someone you have yet to experience while eagerly searching for a romantic connection with him/her.
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This person already likes you for who you are, so now you just have to move forward with them.
By being friends first, you will probably already know about each other’s past relationships, childhood memories, likes and dislikes.
A guy and a girl who aren’t officially dating may send texts to each other during the wee hours of the night, “chat” extensively over Facebook, or “hang out” with each other on their i Phones or i Pads.
Maybe they’ll call each other “BFFs” and watch movies or have dinner together, but they do so in a detached way—as though their sexual identity doesn’t matter.
Or simply, maybe this person’s personality just doesn’t mesh well with yours.
Whatever the case, why does it seem that after finally sleeping with someone we discover we can’t stand them? What are we seeing after sex that we didn’t see before having it?
Here’s why: The beauty of starting off as friends is that you already know the other person.