Follow the Priest After the blessing the priest said to the newly married couple, 'follow me up to the altar'. 'Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair? 'I've tried that - it didn't work.' Vicky, young single lady visits the local dating agency and explains, 'I'm looking for a husband. ' The dating receptionist needs to find out some details so she asks, 'What are your requirements, please?When the priest reached the inner sanctum he turned around, and was amazed to see the bride and groom crawling to the altar on their knees. Whatever the bride and groom's circumstances an MC (master of ceremonies) is sure to find a funny wedding speech joke here. 'Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married,' concludes Barry. ,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? 'Still sobbing, Elaine whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.' How even a nervous, first-time Wedding MC with no comedy experiencecan entertain and dazzle the wedding guests with 101 funny, clean, and 'field-tested' wedding jokes. Only .99 Molly and Peter have been married for almost 48 years and have raised a brood of 12 children and are blessed with 23 grandchildren. ' 'Well, let me see.' Vicky says, 'He needs to be fine looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing.' 'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Rupert started using the most ghastly language... Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her back.' *Geordie - is a regional nickname for a person from the Tyneside [NE] region of England, or the name of the dialect of English spoken by these people. You need a television.' What more can Will and Guy say!
'God', inquires Adam, 'Why did you make Eve so beautiful? Diana, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, 'Do you see that couple? A man would not be able to identify most of these items. Mike and Pauline were relating their holiday experiences to a friend.
''So you would love her.' Said God 'But why did you make her so dumb? 'It sounds as if you had a great time in Nevada,' the friend observed.
We’ll speak.” Raquel gave herself a quick spray of perfume, checked herself out one more time in the mirror, and headed outside to wait for the guy.
After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed.
Why Women are Beautiful Adam, is working in the Garden of Eden, when the skies open up, and God appears spotlighted by a shaft of brilliant blue light. ' 'I would love to do that,' replied Diana's husband, 'but the problem is.........won't let me.' The Bathroom A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel chain.
God asks Adam how things were in the garden:'Fine thanks' replies Adam. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So what did the doctor say? Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? The world thinnest book has only one word written in it : EVERYTHING. If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.... Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend? Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part." Snake Venom One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick.And we had a pony we rode all over the farm."“Here’s how it works,” he said. If you can’t come up with the answer, you have to give me a dollar. I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch. In the summer we could swim in the pond, and pick berries in the woods.